Labeless Love

Last weekend I attended the wedding of two dear friends. Their vows to each other were beyond heartfelt and romantic and my eyes welled up with tears of joy and emotion. There is no hiding it; I am a hopeless romantic and a HUGE lover of all things love. And my mind began to wander as I hugged my partner’s arm…is this what love needs to be?

My entire life I have been filled with an abundance of love to share that at times it can be overwhelming. I never fully allowed myself to express this side of me for fear of it not being received as I intended, until now.

Just like the element of fear slyly crept into the love I had inside to share, so did control. For me, if a partner didn’t show some level of control over me, I would see it as them being non committal. I may be a lover and a feminine at heart, but I do have a strong masculine side as well. I often found myself trying to control people to prove to them my level of commitment, mirroring back what I was feeling. YIKES! I would grasp, and lose grace. Just like someone drowning, I had little room to breathe and would reach for any lifeboat I could get. I never considered just relaxing and floating on the surface with ease; giving myself space to see what would come through, again…until now.

I used to think that the only way my I would be loved by a romantic partner was to be labeled as “theirs” through marriage. I thought that a ring or a golden handcuff was the only way I could feel secure. This was something that could be controlled…just like the labels we wear on our clothing or our choice in car. But what if love was label-less? Love isn’t This was a crazy concept for me, especially because it was so undefined.

One year ago, today I met my partner, and the perfect man to receive all of the love I have to give at this phase in my life. With him, love has never been a word, its always been a feeling. Something I feel deep inside my soul, and I started to relax into it. This feeling of ease was liberating. I slowly began to settle into the feeling that love can set me free, and that the love we feel is and always will be enough.

This man accepts me and all I have to share with grace and respect while at the same time allowing me the space and freedom to expand and create even more. We have created a healthy balance, and we are living a life filled with so much joy. This is what commitment and love looks like.

Since we’ve been together, I have really settled into the person I have always been and returned to Lauren. I have released limiting ideas and believes about myself and life and have given birth to something beyond my wildest dreams. Blue Fox Farm.

Without being able to fully release control, sharing my love and having it received, I never would have been able to fully express myself and my gifts to this world. There is freedom in our love, the freedom that allows us to commit to each other and create a live we both love.

So thank you #30 for showing me how giving and receiving unconditional love is the best gift of all.

And to answer the question I posed above, can I be okay with love being undefined? My answer is: I am . Because there is no love without freedom. And no freedom without love.

xx,

Lauren Rae